Stay at home.....

It is Friday night.

In a past past life I would have been out dancing.  In that past past life, I would have gone to a restaurant club where I often danced 4 or 5 nights a week.  I would go out at 10 and dance until two.  On a weekend night, I often went with a group to have breakfast before going home to sleep.

I met Camillo in that club.  During all of our dating time, we would meet there to dance.  We also met friends for dinner and many other activities in a group throughout the week.  As our relationship deepened our social life was just as active.  Through our married years, we had many, many dinners and parties, churrascos; we partied hardy.  Our life was full and complete.

I enjoyed this heavy social life.  To tell you all a secret, I am extroverted.  I have always drawn my energy from laughter and conversation; from the close contact of others.

Now, now I find myself at home.  I find myself watching tv, reading, cleaning house and watching more tv on Friday nights,  all nights actually.   I receive invitations to go out but I just don't want to go.  Before you start thinking I am depressed, or getting ready to jump off the bridge, don't worry.  I have thought about this and conclude that over my 20 years with Camillo, 10 years in Brasil and in these last 3 years alone, I have just changed.  Call it maturity or even old age, but what I want to do is read and write, and paint furniture and to make my house a home, spend time with my family and with friends that matter.  The bright lights and noise of a club is no longer what I want.  And its okay.